In our latest episode of the osTEAo AYA podcast, Mia, Sammy, Mikaela, Alejandro and Inaaya tackle a deeply important and often overlooked topic in the cancer community: toxic positivity. This conversation was raw, real, and resonant for anyone who's ever been told to “just stay positive” when life was anything but.
While positivity can be a helpful coping tool, it becomes toxic when it's forced, when patients feel they have to smile through pain or downplay their struggles just to keep others comfortable.
Alejandro shared how he internalized toxic positivity during chemotherapy and even after his amputation, feeling pressure to “power through” and keep spirits high when he really needed space to process his emotions. Mikaela opened up about how excessive positivity made her feel like her condition was being minimized, like she wasn’t allowed to be scared, angry, or exhausted. The group agreed: while positivity is often well-meaning, it can be isolating when it silences real emotions. The episode emphasized the need for a more authentic kind of support, one that makes room for the full human experience, including the hard stuff.
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Authentic support doesn’t look like relentless optimism. It looks like meeting people where they’re at, emotionally, physically, and mentally.
Sammy emphasized the importance of simply acknowledging when someone is having a hard time, rather than trying to "fix" it with positivity. Mikaela and Mia shared heartwarming stories of friends who made small adjustments to plans, no big speeches, just thoughtful actions that made them feel included and seen.
Alejandro reminded us that accessibility is a form of care, and it shouldn’t be an afterthought. Whether it’s modifying hangouts, offering rides, or even just checking in, little gestures make a big impact.
The group also dove into how cancer can change the way others see and treat you—and not always in helpful ways. Alejandro spoke about wanting to be treated like himself, not just “the person with cancer.” Sammy and Mikaela echoed this, talking about the loss of identity that can come when others only see the illness and not the person.
This episode was a reminder that you don’t have to be “okay” all the time to be strong. That allowing space for vulnerability is one of the kindest things we can do for each other. And that real support isn’t about cheering the loudest, it’s about showing up honestly, listening deeply, and loving without conditions.
If you or someone you love is navigating the AYA cancer experience, we hope this episode offers both validation and a bit of comfort. Because here at osTEAo, we believe in real talk over sugarcoating—and that sometimes, the best kind of positivity is just being present.
🎧 Listen now to the full episode of osTEAo: When Positivity Silences Pain. Because your story matters. Your voice matters. And we’re in this together.
